Defining Success: Julia Kristina Mah
Julia Kristina is a registered therapist, speaker, and online course creator based in Vancouver, BC. She specializes in helping people work through and overcome anxiety, depression, self-doubt, perfectionism and self-confidence issues so they can go through life feeling deeply happy and more connected to themselves and others.
How do you define success?
Success is a really sticky one for me. Because, let’s say I build a massively successful business, but I no longer know my husband, and my kids see me as the person who kisses them goodnight – am I successful? I don’t really like defining success in big bold terms. I feel a lot more comfortable with defining success as the small wins every day. The things that we often overlook or take for granted because we somehow think success needs to be earth shattering to count.
My husband tells me he feels loved and appreciated by me? Success! My 3 year old daughter tells me she is feeling frustrated with her 1 year old brother for taking her toys (instead of hitting him out of anger)? Success! I work hard to build an on-line program on communication and the feedback is that it was life-changing? Success!
I think success comes when we work hard at something and get somewhere with it, all the while keeping our priorities straight.
How do you measure your own success?
I measure my own success by looking back to where I began and how far I have come. We often forget to acknowledge the successes we have every day, either big or small, because we are so focused on where we’re not, and then forget to notice where we are compared to where we were 5 years, 5 months, 5 weeks, or even 5 days ago! I also measure it by deciding what’s important to me and then notice myself making steps in that direction.
How does success feel?
Success feels as good as I allow it to feel. Success feels amazing when I take the time to notice and appreciate it and really let myself simmer in and savor it with as much of myself as I can, for as long as I can. But when I negate, undervalue, or look at what the success isn’t versus what it is, I rob myself of being able to take an honest look at what I’ve worked hard at and say: Good for me!
When was the last time you felt successful? What happened?
When I launched a recent online program and the response was greater than I had expected. I’m new to the world of on-line programs, and having smart and accomplished men and women invest themselves in learning from me is both humbling and affirming.
How do you celebrate your success?
I’d be lying if I said you would never find me doing a happy dance in my living room. But other than that, I share it with those who take joy in celebrating with me. I also make it a priority to reach out and show my gratitude to the supportive and encouraging individuals who helped me have the success - because goodness knows, there is no such thing as a self-made woman, or man.
What advice would you offer to someone who wants to be successful?
Get ready for the days that, with every fiber of your being, you want to give up, and then don’t.