Why I'm Stopping Made Visible After 100 Episodes
100 Episodes
WHY I STARTED MADE VISIBLE
100 episodes.
I never even imagined that I’d record 100 episodes.
I am not someone who majorly plans ahead. I often have an idea, develop the idea and I release it. I don’t ruminate for months or years over an idea -- I try it out and see if anyone else in the world is interested and if I enjoy doing it. Some things stick while others don’t. That’s one of the many perks of being your own boss -- you can do things however you want.
While I wasn’t an early podcast listener, when I did start listening several years ago, I got in deep. I began listening to hours of shows per week on topics ranging from health and wellness to women in business to music to travel to storytelling. I immediately recognized it was my preferred way to learn new things and retain information. I loved that podcasts were a vehicle to share stories, and I could listen as I went about my day -- walking, cooking, or cleaning.
So, when my friend Maya told me she wanted to launch a podcast about motherhood and asked me if I wanted to produce the show, I was immediately in. While I’m not a mother, I knew I could still play a valuable role in bringing this project to life. In early 2018, We Are Mothers launched. I loved finding guests, gathering their stories, providing feedback and seeing all the pieces come together on each episode.
Shortly after we released the first season, I had a thought. As someone who has lived with an invisible illness my entire life (undiagnosed until age 10, hid my condition until I was 27), I never found content that I could relate to about my health. I was a high-functioning woman in my 30s running a business, traveling the world, and doing all that I could to live my life without my invisible illness getting too much in the way. So much of what I found online about invisible illness didn’t reflect my experience. The content seemed to focus on people whose lives were fully shaped by their illnesses, not people who saw illness as one part of their identity.
While an illness that takes over your life is certainly the reality for many people, it wasn’t a conversation I felt like I could be a part of. I hid my illness for many years, and no one but my parents were in the know. (Listen to my episode with my mom to hear more about it). That said, there were other times where my illness did take over my life, like my lung surgery that I now celebrate the anniversary of every year. On the whole, I recognized how fortunate I was to be able to live my life with an invisible illness while embracing so many other things I love doing. I knew there were other people like me, and I wanted to hear their stories in vivid detail.
HOW I LAUNCHED MADE VISIBLE
And so, the idea for Made Visible was born.
I recorded my intro episode and episode #2 with Christina Blacken and immediately published it. Not a lot of planning or strategy went into it. I simply wanted to start.
And so I did. I spent week after week recording conversations with friends, colleagues, friends of friends, listeners who requested to be on the show and complete strangers.I talked to patients, parents, caregivers, partners, doctors, healers and people who started businesses because of their invisible illness or to help those with invisible illnesses. People who had shared their stories many times before but were interested in telling it in a new way for my listeners, as well as people who were using my show to share their story for the first time. I loved hitting record each time and capturing incredible moments of vulnerability and honesty.
For some people, storytelling came very naturally, while others needed more prompts and questions from me. Some were nervous while others were very excited. Some needed a pep talk in advance to remind them the value of sharing their story, while others were used to spilling it all. Sometimes guests would cry, sometimes I would cry, often we would get a laugh or five in. Sometimes guests were all about doctors, medications and surgeries while others were anti Western medicine and only went the holistic route.
I learned so much from my guests, my listeners, and the process of hosting a podcast for over two years. Although none of my guests have the same condition as me (Hyper IgE/Job’s syndrome), there were so many moments where I felt less alone.
MOMENTS THAT I’LL NEVER FORGET
Here are some of the moments that stand out (although there are so so so many others):
Episode #45 guest Sarah Harris talked about going to skin camp as a teenager and the impact of seeing other kids who looked like her. I immediately began to wonder what it would have been like if I was willing to expose my skin at that age. (I always wore long sleeves, even in the summer). I’m someone who definitely would have fit in at skin camp AND could have benefitted from it. I didn’t know that a place like this existed and I loved hearing how it helped Sarah.
Episode #49 guest Martel Catalano talked about how her degenerative eye disease, retinitis pigmentosa, was so invisible that she needed to educate people on how to engage with her. She can’t see anything that’s not directly in front of her, and she told a story of a cashier in a coffee shop who handed her back money -- only she couldn’t see their hand because it was below eye level. This is something that will forever be stuck in my head as it’s a reminder of the invisible side of illness and the importance of telling people what you’re going through.
Episode #22 guest Akilah Cadet raised my awareness of the inequalities that Black women face in the medical system. It’s something I’d never witnessed and was so saddened to hear. I highly recommend listening to this episode -- Akilah is an important voice in the fight against systemic racism, and it’s important for more people to be aware of inequities in the medical system. As a white woman, it’s not something that I face when I walk into a doctor’s office or hospital -- but after hearing Akilah’s story, it confirmed the importance of sharing these stories to raise awareness about the inequalities.
Episode #69 guests Simon and Martina Stawski showcased how in their relationship, everything related to Martina’s experience with Ehlers-Danlos syndrome (EDS) is something they go through together. It’s a WE situation. While Simon didn’t see himself as a “caregiver” (it just wasn’t a term he related to), it was clear how valuable it was for them both to be so involved and dedicated to her condition. These two made me laugh so much with their unique sense of humor.
OUR CHANGING WORLD
In March, as the Covid-19 pandemic started to take over the U.S, I started releasing episodes dedicated to Covid-19 but quickly realized how much content was already out there about the topic. When I polled my listeners, I found that they were (to my surprise!) craving their usual content. So, I returned to my regular content with brief mentions of life in quarantine and the challenges of the pandemic.
We’ve featured well-known celebrities and influencers (ugh, I hate that word) as well as people with no social presence or fame yet who are living amazing lives with incredible stories to tell.
We’ve been featured on TheSkimm, Self Magazine, Well+Good, Bustle, Apartment Therapy, Parade, New York Daily News, New York Post, Bravo, Forbes and more. Last fall, Health Magazine had a full crew come to my apartment to do a several hour video shoot. They documented my life, health, and the purpose of Made Visible, which resulted in this article and video that came out in January.
I’ve seen more than eight other people come out with podcasts on invisible illness which confirms that it’s a topic that needs to be talked about and there’s endless stories to be told. We’ve received countless emails and DMs on Instagram from listeners about how certain episodes have changed their lives and how listening to the show has made them feel less alone. That’s one of the many reasons why I created this show.
MY DECISION AFTER RECORDING 100 EPISODES
It’s been an incredible 2+ years and now that we’re approaching this milestone of 100 episodes, I’ve decided to stop releasing new episodes. I’m not certain if this is a permanent or temporary decision but for now this is what feels right.
It’s been a tough decision for me as I feel responsible for sharing these stories and helping people feel more connected especially during a time where we’re all more distant than usual.
Creating a podcast requires a ton of time and energy. There are so many moving pieces that bring it to life. I’ve been fortunate to have an incredible team who have helped make it possible (shout out to them coming shortly) but that then requires me to project manage them as well as do all the other things that they do not do. I couldn’t do this alone. I’m so glad I hired the team that I did but with or without the team, it’s not feeling right for me anymore.
If you are interested in launching your own podcast, I highly recommend downloading my Newbie’s Guide to Podcasting. It’s the guide I wish someone provided me before I started Made Visible. It’s a Q&A format broken down into several sections so you have the ability to read through the whole thing and go back as questions come up during the process of launching. Download it here.
As I’m sure many of you are experiencing, this pandemic has shaken up our worlds in such a dramatic way and has helped us to reimagine our lives and reprioritize what is most important to us. The current format of the show is no longer something I love -- so now is the time to brainstorm and consider new ideas.
This is certainly not the end of me sharing about my life with an invisible illness or helping others do the same.
I am going to take this time to continue building my business as a business coach for solopreneurs and small business owners. I am also going to prioritize my writing even more than I had been since the start of the pandemic. I hope to publish more personal essays related to my health story and share them with you. I am also creating other opportunities for us to connect so be sure you’re signed up for our newsletter to be notified of updates. Sign up here.
HERE ARE THOSE THANK YOU’S I MENTIONED
Thank you to Gemma Leghorn who has been a part of my business for the last four years and I can’t imagine not being able to brainstorm with. She’s an incredible copywriter and provides so much support to me with the show. I hope the end of this podcast provides you with the time and space to write your own story.
Thank you to Eilise Bonebright for carefully listening to each and every episode, editing out the “ums” and “you knows” and “likes” and a handful of other moments you don’t hear on the show. The first thing I did when I decided to launch the show was find Eilise because I knew editing wasn’t my thing.
Thank you to Amanda Guerassio for creating the graphics and managing the backend of the website for the show. The bright blue tones of each of the episode graphics are way more inviting than most hospital rooms and doctors offices.
Thank you to Dylan Chenfeld for creating the intro and outro music. I went to Dylan with very little direction and he came back to me with exactly what I didn’t even know I was looking for -- something upbeat that I wouldn’t get sick of.
Thank you to Kristin Jekielek who responded to my post in the Dreamers//Doers Facebook group who suggested the name Made Visible and I was immediately certain it was the best name and perfectly suited what I was going for.
Thank you to my guests for your willingness to share your stories with me and my listeners. Thanks for trusting me to create a safe space and answering my questions without hesitating. Your stories are helping many people who have potentially never heard a story that sounded like their own. Thanks to you sharing yours, they may suddenly feel seen, heard and less alone.
Thank you to my listeners for choosing to have my voice and so many of my guests in your ears -- once, ten times or for the last 100 episodes. When I started the podcast, I didn’t know if anyone other than my mom would listen to the show and I’m so grateful for you, your feedback, reviews, episode shares, and notes of love. It’s good to know there are people out there who want and need to hear these stories.
Thank you to all of the brands who sponsored the show -- many of which exist to support people with invisible illness as well as those that generally support maintaining a healthy lifestyle.
Thank you to all the writers and editors who featured Made Visible, my story and/or my guests’ stories. The more we can raise awareness about invisible illness the less alone we’ll all feel.
